Mad Scientist Wisdom

Things went well with Open Mic at NerdCon, and a gratifying number of people took promotional bookmarks with the blog address… so this is for those people who came here looking for more Mad Scientist Wisdom.  Enjoy!

  • Fools rush in where I damn well order them to. There’s definite advantages to employing foolish minions. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Great minds think alike… especially after a few ‘treatments’ in the neural reconfiguration chair. #MadScientistWisdom
  • No man is an island. Really… I’ve transformed my victims into a lot of weird things, but not one of them became an island. #MadScientistWisdom
  • If you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone… you have obvious flaws in your inventory tracking system. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Keep your friends close but your enemies in a secure detention facility, and don’t use an unattended contraption when destroying them. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Time heals all wounds, but that’s still no reason to forgo the personal defense force shield. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine like respect is a poor substitute for obedience. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, will survive within my despotic empire. #MadScientistWisdom
  • First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you obliterate them with space based particle beam weapons. #MadScientistWisdom
  • A bird in the hand is worthless and will not advance my plans for world domination… why do my minions keep giving me these damn birds? #MadScientistWisdom
  • Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. The good are wimps. Your imperfect robot army is sufficient to destroy them. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and make sure your air ducts are too small to crawl through. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Victory has a thousand fathers. That might explain the cost overruns in the genetics laboratory. #MadScientistWisdom
  • You can fool all of the people some of the time. Fooling them consistently requires orbital mind control satellites. #MadScientistWisdom
  • The road to Hell is paved via a no-bid time and materials contract… What? You expected an open and competitive process? #MadScientistWisdom
  • Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, even though world governments repeatedly refuse to capitulate to your demands. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Be careful what you wish for. Genies don’t speak English as a first language and can easily misunderstand you. #MadScientistWisdom
  • You only live once… at least until the cloning lab is up and running. #MadScientistWisdom
  • The person saying it cannot be done should not interrupt the person currently holding the moon for ransom. #MadScientistWisdom
  • A rising tide lifts all boats and is proof that your gravity manipulation ray is operational. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Seize the day. Lock it in a repeating causality loop until it yields the result you want. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Eighty percent of success is showing up. The other twenty percent involves compromising photographs of select politicians. #MadScientistWisdom
  • You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take… unless you’ve turned control over to the automated targeting system. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Success is the best revenge, after just about anything involving lasers. #MadScientistWisdom
  • If at first you don’t succeed… eliminate the minions that failed to implement your flawless plan. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration and 85 percent exploiting the people with bad math skills. #MadScientistWisdom
  • Every journey begins with a single step… is something only a loser without a working teleportation device would say. #MadScientistWisdom
  • There is no problem so big that it can’t be fixed by creating a space-time anomaly that alters the timeline. #MadScientistWisdom
  • If you love something set it free. If it rampages and destroys the city, don’t admit it was yours. #MadScientistWisdom

I’ll be posting more about Nerdcon tomorrow, including links to all the creative stuff we discovered, so be sure to check back!

 

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